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Someone’s
going back to being a teenager again…”identity crisis”, personality issues and
all, well it’s another #somanyquestionsbuttheanswersaresofew ( longest
hashtag?) moment of mine. There some points in my life, when my head has a lot
of questions, #soulsearching.
Why is it
that every time we travel ( I mean….I ) down the memory lane, it always seemed like it
was only yesterday? Oh well perhaps this only applies to me. Backward to the
time when I was young, maybe at grade school and early teens, I always look
forward to the future, that for me was like ten years ahead. I always had a
great vision of how my life would be and in my mind I am memorizing the
chronological order of events, I had everything planned in my mind, always have
this short and long term goal, oh that was what I learn from school back then.
Perhaps it
was the absence of technology back then that my idle mind always drifts to
somewhere I haven’t been to. That was then a great escape from the reality of
life back there in the countryside, as I look at it at this very moment, it was
a great coping mechanism of all the detours, bumps and humps that life has
thrown at me an early age.
However I
really miss those moments now…I don’t know where did this “wisdom comes with
age “goes. I just turned 29, but it is really embarrassing to realize that I
have lost that sense of direction, lost the capability to dream of a beautiful
tomorrow. Am I tired of dreaming and imagining how my tomorrow would be? If
that’s the case, do I have to feel sorry for myself? If there is such a thing
as puberty crisis, so what could this be quarter life crisis? Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!
The jerk in me eh…
Or maybe it
could also be that I am just trying to live for a moment, being in the moment
without worrying what tomorrow would brings. Yes I did grow tired worrying of
things that may or may not happen in the future. And that is why; I am only in
for the moment. But yes, I do still think of my tomorrow however, I work hard
on a daily basis, whether it will pays off tomorrow or not, at least there’s no
way I would be blaming myself for having busy thinking of those uncertain things that I forget to enjoy what today has for me.
Perhaps there
are really these moments in man’s life where all we can find in mind and heart
are questions. Questions that when we find the answer, we will ask another
question again yet we are not satisfied with the answer or maybe even if we
have the answer we just deny it.
Well this is
life and it is too short to worry about things that we aren't sure if it will
really happen in the future. Just work your ass off today but don’t forget to
enjoy things. A midst your busy timetable
you can always pause for a moment and look for something that would paint a
smile in your lips. At times it can’t be that easy because the world has its
ways to give us a thousand reasons to frown but it does not mean that we cannot
find a single reason to smile.
So I am
taking this easy now…I always have this feeling in my heart that someday soon
it will be over and whatever inhibition it is I have in mind, I will soon
forget about it.
