Point of Realization: "When can you say that you have moved on and accepted the fact that it's over?

It has been around six years or almost since my parents choose to continue their journey not in each others arms. For that period of time, I thought I had accepted it already with all my heart--- that's it! As a matter of fact - bitter truth, I stop praying and asking God about their reconciliation, it's not because I feel hopeless about it and I want to quit the fight. It is simply because I feel  within that it's time to let go most especially when Mama found someone.It hurts so much but then who am I to stop her,yes I am her daughter but it does not give me the authority to oppress her happiness, that would be so selfish of me  and  unfair to Mama .With that realization I thought I had fully accepted our situation and I can do nothing about it anymore. I was then able to pick up the broken pieces of me and had started my life again, but still I haven't got the courage to approach Mama.Whether it is of pride or fear that I feel, I can't fully explain. Until I got the chance to visit my hometown again. With my vacation I thought God gave me that time to somehow break the ice between me and Mama, I was thinking I can face her, after all she is my mother and I wouldn't be here if not because of her.In my heart I am hoping that it will be okay.

Unfortunately, when I saw Mama with her other man, there's seems a little pin inside my heart- heartbeat so irregular that I thought I might have my hyperventilation attack again. Right then, I just turn away as if I haven't seen them.I just told myself, if it is the right time then it will happen.For now I only wish it won't be late by the time I will be able to defeat my cowardice ---my pride.

At one point in our life we thought we had moved on and accepted that it is all over but then there that little space deep in our hearts where doubts, pride, fear dwell that constrain us from doing what must have to be done by the time we are given the chance to face it.But still I strongly believe that soon my prayers will be answered, and everything happens for a reason.

service crew

today memories are flashing left and right across my mind as i was assigned to manned in our special event. at usjr basak campus -  intramural, about five years ago i was introduce into sales. i wasn't thinking that i could last in that kind of job - being a service crew / sales lady.others may think it's just easy however the odd thing about it if you worked in our company is: you have to bark.yes as in bark like a dog to attract customers.i once asked,what's the use of shouting out our product? if the customer is really up to buy your product i thought no need to push it as if it is not the salable type specially in food business.but as days goes by, i realized it is a plus factor.

it is always a fun recalling my first day as a trainee service crew: though the feeling was really awkward, just imagine shouting inside the mall.but then i made it i was able to do it, but at first i  hid myself behind the ice tea dispenser. as days run  i became comfortable with it that even when i am just slicing hotdogs or hotdog buns my mouth will just open unintentionally shouting "hotdog on sticks----nathans hotdog!".there was even a time when i was riding in a jeepney, instead of saying "lugar lang" what i said was: "hotdog on sticks",as in! it was no joke!, all eyes of passenger was staring at me. i was a bit shy about it, but i just ended laughing at myself quietly.

to date i could say my being a service crew was the most rewarding part of my career.("career talaga! as if i have one!...hehehe" ).what i really like being one is that happiness i felt inside every time i got a compliment from my dear customers who get satisfied with my service,and of course the "TIP" is included in, the music to my ear when they called me by first name.and when your "suki" would look for you when you are not around in your station. it is in this field when you got the chance to meet people from different walks of life that make it more exciting and fun. i am grateful that in this journey i have been there. i am thankful because it was the phase when my personality was developed. who i am today was because of what i've been through yesterday.

and today, i was able to experience it again! i had a tiring yet fun filled day! i was able to hear those  sweet word :"ate" again. and it was really, really fun, i was able to escape the boredom  of  facing all those papers for a day!:-)

the face 4 years ago - i miss this uniform and the place