Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Quarter / Mid Life Crisis or Just some Over thinking?

image ctto: gooogle

Someone’s going back to being a teenager again…”identity crisis”, personality issues and all, well it’s another #somanyquestionsbuttheanswersaresofew ( longest hashtag?) moment of mine. There some points in my life, when my head has a lot of questions, #soulsearching.

 Why is it that every time we travel ( I mean….I )  down the memory lane, it always seemed like it was only yesterday? Oh well perhaps this only applies to me. Backward to the time when I was young, maybe at grade school and early teens, I always look forward to the future, that for me was like ten years ahead. I always had a great vision of how my life would be and in my mind I am memorizing the chronological order of events, I had everything planned in my mind, always have this short and long term goal, oh that was what I learn from school back then.

Perhaps it was the absence of technology back then that my idle mind always drifts to somewhere I haven’t been to. That was then a great escape from the reality of life back there in the countryside, as I look at it at this very moment, it was a great coping mechanism of all the detours, bumps and humps that life has thrown at me an early age.

However I really miss those moments now…I don’t know where did this “wisdom comes with age “goes. I just turned 29, but it is really embarrassing to realize that I have lost that sense of direction, lost the capability to dream of a beautiful tomorrow. Am I tired of dreaming and imagining how my tomorrow would be? If that’s the case, do I have to feel sorry for myself? If there is such a thing as puberty crisis, so what could this be quarter life crisis? Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! The jerk in me eh…

Or maybe it could also be that I am just trying to live for a moment, being in the moment without worrying what tomorrow would brings. Yes I did grow tired worrying of things that may or may not happen in the future. And that is why; I am only in for the moment. But yes, I do still think of my tomorrow however, I work hard on a daily basis, whether it will pays off tomorrow or not, at least there’s no way I would be blaming myself for having busy thinking of those uncertain things  that I forget to enjoy what today has for me.

Perhaps there are really these moments in man’s life where all we can find in mind and heart are questions. Questions that when we find the answer, we will ask another question again yet we are not satisfied with the answer or maybe even if we have the answer we just deny it.

Well this is life and it is too short to worry about things that we aren't sure if it will really happen in the future. Just work your ass off today but don’t forget to enjoy things.  A midst your busy timetable you can always pause for a moment and look for something that would paint a smile in your lips. At times it can’t be that easy because the world has its ways to give us a thousand reasons to frown but it does not mean that we cannot find a single reason to smile.

So I am taking this easy now…I always have this feeling in my heart that someday soon it will be over and whatever inhibition it is I have in mind, I will soon forget about it.


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