Nothing at All

------so many questions but the answers are so few------

Weird how things went on lately, don't exactly know if it was a vision or merely an imagination.
but what if , it was really a warning?As they said, if it's your time, then it's your time.You already had served the purpose of your journey so called "life".You had accomplished your mission, though you couldn't assure yourself if you have done enough.Why you can't?As human as we are, discontentment is always there, no matter what the effort we exert to console ourselves that we have to face the reality and be contented with what was given unto us.We always say, we're ready, yet we still have hang ups in life, still have questions left unanswered ,even unnoticed then.So how are we going to face it?Better yet say: "I'll cross the bridge when I get there."

Exactly, just cross the bridge when you get there, it might be a warning...but just savor the moment you have now.At least somehow, your made this journey worth living..., enough for others to might reflect when you go ahead of them.It is still a music to the ear hearing: though he was like this, he however has a good heart.Isn't it a melody?

By the way, what this thought all about? Nothing at all actually, just a result of words escaping out in my little head.

Last cry????think about it?

GIVE IT A TRY

Synopsis:

Biglaan ang pagka assign niya sa branch office ng kompanyang pinagtratrabahuan niya sa Cebu. Nag – aalangan pa siyang pumayag sa gusto ng kanilang Operations Manager , subalit panibagong environment na rin yon.Makakaiwas na siya sa sobrang traffic ng Maynila.Di na rin bago sa kanya ang Cebu, minsan na siyang nakapunta doon,at wala din siyang problema sa tutuluyan dahil may apartment dun ang Tita niya.

Ngunit di niya inakala ni sumagi sa imahinasyon niya dun uli magkrus ang landas nilang dalawa ni Gayle. Si Gayle ang lalaking muntik na niyang pagkalooban ng kanyang buong pagkatao kahit nakilala lamang niya ito sa isang dating site.

Paano kaya niya ito haharapin gayong nung huling pagkikita nila ay sobrang kainsultuhan ang ginawa niya rito.At pa’no niya pigilan ang kanyang puso na tila nabuhay uli ang nakahimlay na damdamin na pilit niyang binalewala pagkat ayaw niyang paniwalaan ang kung ano mang nararamdaman niya para sa lalaki.?

Will she again ignore and forget her TRUE feelings towards Gayle or will she give it a try?

GIVE IT A TRY

I.

“Punta ka ng Cebu bukas umaga,tingnan mo anon g nangyari sa construction ng bagong branch dun” informed his boss,

“Eh,sir di po ako nakapag alam sa min.Tsaka di pa po ako nakapaghanda”.

“Pabili mo na lang yung ticket mo kay Grace.Umuwi ka mamayang ala singko dapat 11:00 am bukas nasa Cebu ka na”

“Mga ilang araw po ako dun sir?”

“Three days.”

Hay naku kahit kelan talaga napa unpredictable ng boss niya,kung mag utos ito gusto ura-urada andyan na at wala yata sa bokabularyo nito ang salitang hindi pwede.Pero sino ba siya para mag reklamo dito,in the first sa interview pa lang she was informed na there are posibilities na ma assign siya sa ibat-ibang lugar.First job niya ito kaya kailangan pagbutihan.Buhay nga naman,kakapagod mag aral magastos pa tapos pag graduate ka na wala ka pa ring ligtas, hindi pa rin tapos pakipagkarera mo.Mas mabuti pa nga nung studyante pa lang siya atleast terror professor at instructor lang naka pagpa stress sa kanya.Ngayon, naku po!pero ika nga nila thats life.Kaya siya sunod na lang sa bossing niya kesa naman mawalan siya ng trabaho.

At exactly 11 am nakababa na Gwen sa eroplanong sinakyan niya papuntang Cebu, gustuhin man niyang gumala muna ay wla na siyang sapat na panahon, kailangan niyang  bisitahin ang construction site nang isa na naman branch ng kanilang kompanya.Ewan ba niya kung bakit siya ang ipinadala ng kanilang Boss gayung wala naman siyang alam tungkol sa construction na yan.Kailangan may ma ireport agad siya dito.

Maaga pa para sa mananghalian kaya dumiritso na lang siya sa may reclamation area kung saan dun kinokonstrak ang panibagong chain of restaurant ng kompanyang pinagsisilbihan niya.Malapit lang iyon sa isang mall dun. Minsan na siyang na nakapunta ng Cebu kaya kahit papano, ay kabisado na niya ang lugar at may kakilala na rin siya dito.After almost 30 mins sa biyahe nakarating na rin sa location,ilang araw na lang at matatapos na rin ang gusali. Pagkatapos makapag report pumasok muna siya kalapit na mall para dun mananghalian, may food cart din ang kanilang kompanya sa nasabing mall.

“H! ms Gwen!kumusta po kayo? Sabi nang babaeng nakasalubong niya papasok sa mall.Medyo namumukhaan niya ang babae kaso di niya maalala, napatitig lang tuloy siya dito.Naka uniporme ito ng katulad ng uniform ng mga service crew nila.

“Ms Gwen a di nyo na po ako naalala? Ako si Anne, yung sa SM po naasign dati…

“ Oh Anne!kaw pala, pasenysya may pagka ulyanin na ako…hahaha,natatawang sambit niya

“Dito ka naba nakaduty ngaun?”

“Ay hindi po, pero isa poi to sa mga outlets na hinahawakan ko sa ngaun,trainee cluster in charge na po kasi ako ngayon”

“Ah ganon ba?congrats sa iyo!sabi ko na nga ba may patutunguhan ka rin eh”

“Oh halika ka sabay na tayo kumain” yakag niya sa kausap

“Salamat na lang po Ms Gwen nagmamadali po kasi ako eh,pupunta pa po ako sa kabilagng outlet. Magkikita pa naman po tayo sa office mamaya eh..

Hindi na niya ito pinilit alam din naman kasi niyang, ito na rin ang nagpapabreak sa mga tauhan nito.Pagkatapos kumain, nilibot muna niya nag kanilang mga branches bago tumuloy sa boarding house na titirhan niya.Kamag anak ng asawa ng pinsan niya ang may ari ng boarding house kaya kahit anong oras ay pwede siyang magpunta dun at may matutuluyan siya roon.

“Magandang hapon po, si Nana Ising andyan po ba?”tanong nya sa isang lupon ng mga binatilyonh nagbukas ng gate.

"Unsa to imong gisulti day?"

Naalala niya bigla nasa Cebu na pala siya gusto niya matawa pero naisip niya baka naman ma offend niya ang batang ito.Sa halip minabuti niyang alalahanin yung bisayang natutunan niya noon.

"Ah kuan, sabi ko,este ingon ko naa ba si Nang Ising?"

"Ay si Nang Iseng pala hinanap mo.sandali"

"Ama,nay nangita nimo oh..tagalog man to oi!

"Hain ba? anang ng isang tinig.

"Naa sa gate ay'

"Sus Ginoo! wala nimo pasudla,pastilan gyud ning bataana ni"!

Nagmamadali ang ale na pumunta sa may gate ng apartment.

"Ako pala si Nang Iseng, nakahanda na yung unit mo anak, tinawagan ako ng Tita Angela mo, dito ka raw sa Cebu ng ilang araw".

“ Ah sige Nang, salamat”

 Alam na niya kung aling unit ang tinutukoy ng matanda sa kanya. Noon pa man doon na sila unit na yon  titira ng kanyang mga pinsan pag nagbabakasyon sila sa Cebu..Inayos niya ang dalang  maliit luggage konti lang ang dala niyang damit dahil kadalsan tatlong araw lang siya mananatili sa Cebu.

Sa loob ng tatlong araw naging abala siya sa pag iikot ng kanilang mga branches sa Cebu, kasama sa itinerary ng kanyang pag iikot ang pag audit sa kanilang mga branches and for the past 3 days ay ito ang kayang ginawa sa loob ng tatlong araw.Minsan nag susupervise din siya sa construction ng panibangong branch ng kanilang restaurant.Sobrang hectic nag kanyang schedule daig pa niya ang artista sa MAynila.Pagkatpos ng pag iikot mag rireport pa siya sa opisina at dahil nga pabalikbalik na siya rito ka close na rin ang mga office staff. Dahil dun minsan inumaga na siya ng inuwi dahil sumasabay na lang siya sa pang night shift ang sched. Minsan gumagala rin sila.Madalas karaoke o videoke ang libangan ng mga ka opisina niya rito sa Cebu. Naaaliw na rin kahit papano.

Minsan sa kanilang pagliliwaliw ay tinanong siya ni Rose;

“ Ms Gwen wala pa po ba kayong balak mag asawa”

“Oo nga naman Ms”, sabad naman ni Jacob na siyang pinaka pilyo sa lahat

“Sayang at mahal ko yung asawa ko, kundi liligawan talaga kita” dagdag nito

“ Kapal mo bro” ako lang naman ang hinihintay niyang si Ms Gwen eh”kaso strict ang parent ko eh, abi naman ni Jayson

“Lakas ng apog mo pre!’ natatawang turan ni Jacob kay  Jayson

Buhat dun nagtawanan silang lahat.

“ Di nga Ms Gwen, tama na rin yang edad nyo para mag asawa” anang ni Virgie

“ Kumusta na nga pala yung si Gayle”.dagdag pa ni Virgie

“Nga pala noh!di ba nung huli nag date pa kayo nun, sabad naman ni Gina

“ Sinong Gayle ba yun” pagkukuwanri nya. Tapusin na nga natin toh ng makauwi na tayo.Maaga pa tayo bukas.

“ Sus kunyari pa to”

Nagtawanan uli ang grupo nila

II.

Alas tres na ng umaga ng umuwi siya sa kanyang boarding house. Mula nang banggtin ni Rose ang pangalan ni Gayle di na ito nawala sa utak niya.

Gayle is the man she know in a dating website about four years ago. Naging kabigan niya ito sa friendster at sa facebook, nagging textmate din niya ito. Kay Gayle siya nagsusumbong sa tuwing may problema siya sa kanyang trabaho. Kasalukuyang nasa Cebu siya noon nung mag text ito na dadaan pa ito ng Cebu bago tumuloy sa Davao para sa isang conference .Ipinapaalam nila sa isat-isa ang kanilang whereabouts sa araw-araw kahit di naman sila magkarelasyon basta simpleng katxt lang niya ito.Ipina alam niya rito na nasa Cebu din siya sa mga oras na yun.Hindi pa sila nagkikita sa personal  nito kung kaya napagkasunduan nilang magkita sa isang fastfood chain sa downtown area.

Nagkita nga sila sa isang fast food chain sa downtown area. Noong una takot pa siyang makipagkita rito, Ewan ba niya kung anong nakain niya at pinatulan pa ito, Sa Manila nga hindi siya nahilig sa mga textmate dahil sa dami na rin sigurong katext nya araw-araw.Pagdating niya sa nasabing fastfood chain ay namataan niya agad ito.Aalis nalang sana siya ngunit huli na dahil napansin na siya nito.Hindi ito kagwapuhan sa kanyang mga pictures pero attractive naman pala nito in person.Though not near into perfection but he is that type that worth a second glance.Madalian lang ang pagkikita nilang yun dahil na rin sa kani-kanilang trabaho.

Dahil sa pagkikita nilang naging madalas ang pag ti text nilang dalawa. At hindi niya inisip na magkikita pa silang uli.

Ngunit nagulat na lang siya nang isang araw, nag text ito sa kanya .

“Busy ka ba tonight?”text nito

“Nope, day off ako ngayon” reply niya sa text nito.

“I’m on my way to the South” text niya uli

“I’ll be in Cebu @ 6pm, pwde kaya tayong magkita?

Magroad trip sana sila sa southern part ng Cebu nung araw na yon ngunit sa sobrang excitement na makita niya uli si Gayle ay di na lang siya sumama.Sa halip inihanda niya ang kanyang sarili para sa muli nilang pagkikita. Gusto niyang magiging maganda siya sa paningin nito.Nakapgkasunduan nilang mag karaoke nung gabing yun, at dun na lang sila nagmeet.

Kinagabihan nagkita sila sa isang resto bar sa Mango Square.Pagkalipas ng isang oras nag aya na siya kay Gayle na umuwi since may duty siya kinabukasan.Pero sa halip na umuwi sa boarding house niya ay niyaya siya ni Gayle na kanyang hotel na lang magpalipas ng gabi.She knows it wasn’t decent to go with the guy specially na kakilala pa lamang nila, ngunit di niya alam kung anong magnet meron si Gayle at sumakay na lang siya sa taxi na pinara nito ng walang pag aatubili.Makalipas ang ilang sandali nakarating na sila sa suite ng binata.Bigla siyang kinabahan sa posibleng mangyari but she tried to stay calm she was afraid that she might embarrassed Gayle. Ewan ba niya kung bakit niya kailangan isipin yun.

Pagka akyat nila sa suite ng binata pumasok ito sa CR para mag refresh ng sarili, siya naman ay inabala an sarili sa paglilibot sa kabuuan ng suite nito.Hindi man five star hotel ang kinuha nito but the ambiance is enough  for a good relaxation from a long trip.Overlooking sa suite nito ang kabuuan ng syudad it was only then that she did realize how beautiful the city on an evening view.The street lights na animoy munting bituin sa lupa at damang dama pa niya ang malamig na simoy ng hangin .Ang sarap sa pakiramdam  magmasid sa tanawin ng buong syudad tuwing gabi.At ang sarap din sigurong panoorin ang mga yon kasama ang pinakamamahal mo.Sa isiping yun naalala niya si Gayle, ano nga ba ang estado ng relasyon nila?She only knew him through an online dating site,meet in person atleast twice,yet here she is now with this guy alone in his suite.Nasa ganoong pagmunimuni siya ng maramdaman niyang may umakap sa kanyang sa likuran.Paglingon niya nakangiting mukha ni Gayle ang kanyang nasilayan.

“So how do you find the view”?Ano galling ko pumili ng suite ano?nakangiting sabi nito.

“Ahmm..,its nice’ tugon niya rito sabay marahan ng pagtulak dito

Ngunit sa halip na pakawalan siya nito ay mas lalong humigpit ang yakap nito sa kanya.Hindi naman niya ito masisi pinaunlakan niya ito nung niyaya siyang doon matulog sa suite nito.What else did he expect?Kinabahan siya sa isiping yun, but when she feels his hug, hindi niya alam kung bakit pero his hug make her feel so safe and secure, as if no one can hurt her.At hindi rin niya maipaliwanag ang kanyang sarili ng kinuha niya ang mga kamay nito at msuyong hinaplos.They are both watching the city’s night view with a gentle cold breeze, and it was a new experience for her.She had never done this stuff with her former relationship. It was heartwarming indeed!Pero biglang na alarma ang sistema niya ng magsimula itong humalik sa tenga nya.Para siyang nakuryente ng milyon-milyong boltahe.Nagsimula na siyang kabahan lalo na nung bumaba ang halik nito sa kanyang leeg.Hindi pa ito nakontento iniharap nito ang kanyang mukha at masuyong hinagkan ang kanyang noo, kanyang mukha hanggang sa inagkin nito ang kanyang mga labi.Gusto magprotesta ng isip niya subalit nanaig ang kakaibang kasiyahan na dulot ng halik na yon.Hindi na lang niya namalayan na kusang tinutugon na kanyang labi ang halik nito.The kiss went on and it becomes more aggressive. Possible consequences of what might happen come rushing into her mind like an unexpected storm. She had never been touched by any guy though she has been in a relationship at least twice. As much as her brain disapproved what was going on between them but it is her subconscious mind that seems to be feasting with that unknown and unexplainable sensation brought by his kiss.Hanggang sa unti –unting kumikilos ang mga kamay ni Gayle na parang may sariling utak. Bigla siyang napaatras at animo’y halaman na hindi nadiligan ng sampung taon.Hiyang-hiya siya sa kanyang sarili lalo na kay Gayle.Kinastigo niya ang kanyang isipan ang sarili kung bakit pa siya sumama rito.

“Gayle, I…m…Im sorry”. I can’t….I hope you understand…I mean….di matapos tapos na salita niya.

“Ssssshhh..you’re just nervous my dear” alo nito sa kanya sabay halik uli sa labi niya.

“ No, Im sorry…,please not now,Im not yet ready…

“What, I thought….what we had…”

“Yes, but Im so sorry, please not now, I can’t…”

“Alright, you can leave, Ayokong kong ipagsiksikan ang sarili ko”Im sorry akala ko we are okay”.

“Im so sorry…”

“It’s okay, maybe I just had anticipated too much about us. Just leave and I hope you understand na hindi na kita masasamahan pa ba”

Hindi niya alam kung makonsenya ba o ano.Maski siya naguguluhan pero sa huli nanaig pa rin ang isip niya,. Nagpaalam siya kay Gayle at hindi na nga siya hinatid nito.Pagka alis sa hotel nagtxt uli siya rito at humingi ng tawad ngunit din a ito nag reply.

Pagdating sa apartment ay hindi agad siya nakatulog, naisip niya si Gayle..She texted him again to ask for an apology pero hindi pa rin ito nag reply.Sa isip niya hindi siya dapat magsorry sa lalaki na yon pero parang ino-obliga siya ng kanyang puso na humingi ng tawad dito.Ayaw mang aminin ng isip niya pero sa kaibuturan ng kanyang puso humahanga siya ng husto kay Gayle.Hindi niya lubos maisip kung ano nang nangyari sa kanya kung ibang lalaki si Gayle.Nang hindi pa rin nagreply si Gayle sa mga text messages niya, nag pm na lang siya sa fb nito.Pagkatapos niyon pinilit niya ang sarili na iwaglit sa isipan si Gayle.Sa inis niya dahil sa pag iignora nito sa kanya binura niya ang number nito sa kanyang phonebook, at tinanggal din niya ito sa kanyang friends list sa friendster man o sa facebook.

Lumipas ang tatlong araw at wala pa rin siyang nakuhang further instruction mula sa boss niya.Maaga siyang pumasok ng opisina para maihanda na niya ang kanyang mga reports pabalik ng Maynila.Nauna siyang dumating sa opisina kaysa operations manager ng Cebu.Mag alas onse na nang umaga ng dumating si Myrna, ang operations manager ng Cebu,ngunit ang hitsura nito’y parang binagsakan sa langit at lupa.

“Bakit naman ganyan ang itsura mo?Pasan mo yata ang buong daigdig ah”komento niya

“Tumawag sa kin yung kapatid kanina, nasa ospital daw si Mama,hinahanap ako”maluhang-luha wika nito

“Oh my…I’m sorry to hear that ate Myrna”Anong balak mo ngayon?”

“Nagtext na ako kay sir,d pa nag reply eh”Di ko rin siya makontak.

Naputol ang pag uusap nila ng biglang tumunog ang cp niya.Boss niya ang tumatawag.Sinabihan siya nito na siya muna an humawak ng Cebu at kailangang maka uwi ng Bacolod ni Myrna.Ayaw man niya pero naawa naman siya kya Myrna, kaya pumayag na rin siya .

III.

NAging abala ng buong lingo mula nang umuwi ni Myrna sa Bacolod,Araw-araw niyang iniikutan ang mga outlets ng Cebu, kahit pa may mga supervisors na naka assign sa bawat cluster .Abala din siya sa construction ng panibagong fine dinning branch nila, lalo pa nung na short sila sa construction budget buti na lang at inaproban agad ang request niyang additional fund kundi madi – delay ang kanilang opening.Huwebes ng hapon, katatapos lang niyang kausapin ang mall administrator hinggil sa nalalapit na scheduled sale ng nasabing mall.Alas tres na ng hapon at hindi pa siya nakapananghalian, napansin niyang may siang kabubukas na spaghetti house, dun niya naisip kumain ng lunch.Umorder siya ng carbonara at pagkatapos ay naghanap ng pwesto.

Makalipas ang ilang minuto dumating na rin ang kanyang order.Susubo na sana siya ng biglang may nagsalita sa harapan niya.

“Pasta girl ka pa rin pala.”wika ng lalaking sa harap niya.Gulat na napaangat siya ng tingin.Pamilyar sa kanya ang lalaki pero di lang niya maalala kung saan niya ito nakita.

Parang tinusok ng karayom ang puso niya nang hindi siya nakilala ni Gwen.Doon niya napagtanto na wala talaga itong gusto sa kanya.Paano ba siya nakalimutan nito gayong muntik ng may nangyari sa kanila four years ago?.Sabagay ilang beses lang ba silang nagkikita nito.Titig na titig ito sa kanya na animoy binabalikan sa isipan nito kung saan siya nakilala.Gusto pa sana niya itong kausapin ngunit tumawag sa kanya ang mama niya at kinumusta ang soft opening ng negosyo niya.

“See you around dear”.nakangiting wika niya rito

Dahil sa gulat nawala ang gutom ni Gwen.Tinawag na lang niya ang waiter at pinbalot ang kanyang order.Nang makabalik ang waiter hindi niya ang napigilan ang sarili na tanungin ito kung sino yung lalaking kumausap sa kanya.

“Ah miss nakita mo ba yung kumausap sa akin kanina?”

“Ah yun po ba maam, si Sir Gayle..siya po ang may ari ng spaghetti house na to” wika ng waiter sa kanya

“Gayle…..Gayle ano?’

“Gayle Enrico Garcia po maam ang buong pangalan ni sir”Sir Gee po ang tawag naming sa kanya .Ganon po talaga si Sir, nilalapitan niya yung mga customers naming”

“Ahhh..ganon ba….nagulat lang kasi ako”..Sige thank you.

Kung ganon ito sa kanyang mga customer bakit parng kilalang kila siya nito?Naguguluhan pa rin siya, nagpasya siyang pumunta na lang construction site at doon na lang magpalipas ng panahon.Nakalabas na siya sa spaghetti house nang nabangga siya ng isang lalaki.Mabuti na lang at maagap ang mga kamay nito at nasalo agad siya nito.Napakabango at napaka fresh ng amoy nito at nagulat siya uli nang  makilala ang lalaking nakabangga sa kanya.It was the same guy who talk to her a while ago.Nakakapit pa rin ito sa beywang niya at siya naman ay parang na istatwa.

Nagulat din siya sa nagyari, at nang nahimasmasan napnsin niyang nakatitig ito sa kanyang mga braso na naka alalay pa rin ditto kahit nakatayo na nang maayos.Marami sana siyang gusting isumbat dito kulang ang oras niya and it’s not the right time yet.Alam na niyang na sa dating boarding house pa rin ito tumutuloy.Kaya alam na niya ang susunod niyag hakbang.He was about to say sorry nang biglang tumunog ang phone niya.Tapos na niyang kausapin ang tumawag sa kanya ng paglingon niya ay wala na si Gwen.”Babaeng yun talaga!hmp!..usal niya .Pero pasasaan ba’t magtatagpo din sila uli.HUmanda ang babaeng yun sa kanya.!

Gulung-gulo ang isip ni Gwen nang umuwi sa bahay niya.Hindi nawala sa isipan niya ang mukha ng lalaki nag kumausap at sumalo sa kanya kanina.Pamilyar na pamilyar sa kanya ang lalaki, hanggang sa bumalik sa isipan niya ang tunay na pangalan nito.Gayle Enrico Garcia, biglang bumilis ang pintig ng puso niya sa di masabing dahilan.Gayle Enrico Garcia uli ng isip niya.Oh my goodness bakit ba hindi niya agad ito naalala.Paano ba niya muntik nang kalimutan ang lalaking minsa’y muntik na niyang pagkalooban ng kanyang buon pagkatao?Hindi niya naisip na magkikita pa sila uli nito, ang alam niya sa BAcolod ito naka base.Ano kayang ginagawa niya dito.Baka naman ditto na ito nag karoon ng pamilya, mga ilang taon na ri mula ng huling silang nagkita.Five years to be exact.Nang naisip niya na may asawa at pamilya na ito hindi niya maipaliwanag sa sarili kung bakit biglang may kumurot sa bahagi ng kanyang puso.Minamahal nga ba niya ang lalaking yun.Hindi na man siguro.

Kinabukasan magang-maga ang kanyang mata dahil sa kakulangan ng tulog.Linggo naman nung araw na yon kaya tumawag na lang siya sa opisina na hindi na siya papasok unless kung may urgent.Papasyalan na lang niya mamaya ang mga branches nila.Tama, lagi nga siyang nasa mall pero hindi para mag shopping kundi dahil sa trabaho, kaya yun ang gagawin niya ngayon.

Namataan niyang pumasok si Gwen sa department store, pauwi n asana siya nun galing grocery, kaya naisipan niyang sundan ito.Kakaiba talaga ang hatak ng babaeng ito sa kanya.Kahit pa minsan ay ininsulto nito ang pagkatao niya, pero hindi pa rin niya nakuhang magalit dito.Hindi lang niya pinansin ang mga text at pm nito sa kanya dahil nahiya siya rito.Yes, she lead him on, pero wala naman silang relasyon.

Umakyat ito sa fourth floor , sa houseware dept. ano naman kaya bibilhin nito dun. Matiyaga pa rin niyang sinundan ito, nagkunway\ri na lang siyang namimili rin.Ngunit pagkalipas ng ilang minuto bumaba ito at wala naming binili.Hay naku, kakapagod pala sumama sa mga babae kung magshopping.Natawa tuloy siya sa kanyang sarili.

Napansin ni Gwen na parang may sumusunod sa kanya pero paglingon niya wala naman, bumaba na lang siya sa isang coffee shop.Matapos makapag order pumili na rin ng mauupuan.Dumating na rin ang kaynag order, pero parang wala naman yata siyang ganang uminon ng kape, tinitigan na lang niya ito.

“A penny for your thought, Ms Gwen” ani ng isang tinig sa kanyang likuran.

MUntik na niyang mabitawan ang mug sa pagkagulat ng masino niya kung sino ang may ari ng boses na yon.Hindi siya nagkamali, it was Gayle.Naging balisa tuloy siya, ngayon lang uli niya ito natitigan ng maayos at mas lalo yata gumwapo ang mokong na to.

“ Ms Gwen , baka matunaw naman ako sa kakatitig mo’ nakangising wika nito

Doon lang siya natauhan.

“ Oh hi!” ang tanging na usal niya

“Would you mind if I share this table with you”,OR may magagalit ba? Tanong nito

“Ah it’s okay, I’m about to go na rin eh”pagsisinungaling niya.

“About to go? Eh ka oorder mo pa lang diba”

“Ha??...ahh..ya pero naisip kung take out ko na lang to,parang masarap uminon ng kape sa labas ng coffee shop eh” Di niya alam kung pano di nabubulol ang dila niya.

“ Tama, maganda sa labas lalu na dun sa terraces, actually may coffee shop naman dun” halika, Sabay hila niya sa kamay ni Gwen

‘ Ah eh…

Sige , halika nah, kakalungkot kaya mag isa.

Di niya alam kung bakit napasunod naman siya sa lalaking ito, just like before.bakit kaya napakasubmissive niya rito.

Ngayong lang siya sa bahagi ito ng Ayala mall.Napakanganda, natulala tuloy siya.Laking gulat niya ng biglang inangkin ni Gayle ang nakaawang na labi niya.

“ baka kasi pasukin ng langaw, kaw kasi bakit namn nakanganga ka diyan , are you seducing me? Nakangiting tanong nito.At doon niya napansin na nawawala ang mata nito sa tuwing ngumingiti, di naman ito Chinese.And again she was mesmerize.

‘Seems like you want another kiss…..”

HInampas niya ito sa braso.Loko ka talaga!FYI! na amaze lang ako sa lugar na ito, may ilang buwan na rin ako  sa Cebu pero ngayon lang ako napadako dito.”

IV

Everything went on so smoothly between them. Di man malinaw sa kay Gwen ang estado ng relasyon nila ni Gayle ay ipinagwalang bahala na lang niya ito, ang imporatante masaya siya sa piling nito.Regular ba itong pumupunta sa apartment na tinitirhan niya.Naipakilala na rin siya sa magulang at nag iisa nitong kapatid na si Zoey. Buhat doon naging parte na ng kanilang routine ang pagpunta sa Bacolod tuwing may free time siya.

Nakabalik na sa Cebu si Myrna, kaya kailangan na rin niyang bumalik ng Maynila. Binigyan siya ng  isang lingo ng kanilang Boss para maiturn over lahat kay Myrna ang mga kailangan asikasuhin.Naging busy siya sa turn over, kaya minsan inaabot sila g past midnight sa opisina. Madalang na rin silang magkita ni Gayle, pero kahit papano may communication pa rin sila nito.Minsan sa BBM, o kaya naman bigla na lang itong mag DM sa kanya. Pero madalas sa twitter na sila nag uusap ni Gayle.

It was Sunday, nag request siya ng day off, plano kasi niyang sorpresahin si Gayle.Pinuntahan niya ito sa restaurant na pagmamay ari nito sa loob ng isang mall.Mukhang siya pa yata ang masosorpresa, pano ba naman kasi kompleto ang pamilya ni Gayle.Laking gulat niya nag makita niya si Gayle na kayakap ang isang mistesang babae.Babalik na lang sana siya ngunit huli na, nakita na siya ng isang crew sa restaurant, kilala na siya rito, bukod sa may outlet din ang kompanyang pinagtratrabahuan sa naturang mall palagi  na rin siyang dinadala ni Gayle dito. Sa halip, na umiwas nagkunwari na lang siya na hindi namataan sina Gayle, dumiritso siya sa counter para mag order.Kinalma niya ang sarili bago lumapit sa counter.

Hi! Ms Gwen, the usual po ba ani ng crew.

Tango lang tugon niya sa tanong ng crew.Pina take out na lang niya ang order at mabilis na iniwan ang lugar.Hindi niya maipaliwanag ang naramdaman, ni hindi niya alam kung tama bang maramdaman niya yon.

Later she found out from their common friends  na childhood sweetheart  ni Gayle yung nakita niya sa kanilang restaurant, nanlumo siya ng husto sa napag alaman.Hindi naman sa hindi siya confident sa sarili pero hindi naman kasi malinaw ang estado ng relasyon nila ni Gayle.At yung ang dahilan kung bakit siya nasasaktan ngayon. Bakit niya hinayang mahulog ang loob niya kay Gayle.After the incident hindi na siya nagbubukas ng kanyang twitter account. She wants Gayle totally out of her system,inisip niya baka it was Gayle way of revenge kahit papano may kasalanan siya rito noon.Ugali niyang i- isolate ang sarili sa tuwing may dinaramdam siya, kaya sa halip na isng lingo pa ang stay niya sa Cebu ay minabuti niyang tapusin ang lahat in three days.Pagkatapos nag request na lang siya ng vacation leave.The universe conspires with her plan of isolating herself, inaprobahan agad ang requested leave niya.Siguro in a week time ready na ulit siya magtrabaho.

While on leave she change her phone number and deactivate her twitter account.Hindi naman talaga kailangan pang gawin yun, but it seems it’s the right way para makalimutan niya ang lahat ng nangyari.Pinuntahan niya ang kaibigan niya si Hannah sa Bohol, dun na rin siya magbabakasyon.

Girrrrrrrrrrll!tili ng kanyang kaibigan.

Oh my God, anong masamang hangin naman ang naghatid sayo rito??? , talak nito sa kanya.

“ Ano ka ba naman!minsan nga lang tayo magkita eh.! Syempre na miss kita bruha ka!

“ Weeeh! ..., di nga!Namiss daw? Sus! Para naming di kita kilala girl. Alam na alam ko yan bruhilda!hahahaha!

“ Ano ba patutuluyin mo ba ako o hindi?! Uuwi na lang.

“Oh my gaaah! Am sorry bruha! Halika pasok! Na excite lang po.

Wala siyang maitago sa kaibigan niyang to.Alam na alam nito ang lahat tungkol sa kanya. At kailangan rin niya ng makakausap these days dahil baka mabaliw na siya sa pag iisip.

“Hay naku! Ewan ko sayo gaga ka talaga eh noh”Pero okay lang yan girl lahat naman talga tayo minsan nagpakagaga eh sa pag ibig eh.dialog ng kanyang kaibigan.

Labis ang pasasalamat niya at may kaibigan siyang matatakbuhan sa tuwing may magulo ang takbo ng buhay niya.Nakapag asawa ng foreigner ang kaibigan niyang si Hannah at ngayong may ari na ito ng isang beach resort sa isla ng Panglaw , Bohol. Sa pamamalagi niya sa resort ng kaibigan,kahit papano nakakalimutan din niya ang sakit na dinamdam ng puso niya.Dito rin niya nakilala si Clyde, pinsan ng kaibigan niyang si Hannah na naka base U.S.

.......itutuloy....<3<3<3

FIRST THINGS IN MY LIFE

MY FIRST EVER DECLAMATION PIECE

Who wouldn't love declamation pieces?

I was on my sophomore year way back in high school, when my English teacher ask me to declaim during our annual United Nation Day.I really don't have any idea how to deliver it, and in fact haven/t done it before.But then it excite me coz I love being on stage doing recitals.(hahahaha..it boost my self confidence:0 ) wheeeeh ).And so to make a long story short my teacher wrote a piece for me and it goes like this:

I DID IT!

Honorable judges, friends, ladies and gentlemen...
I did it!

Oh yes, I admit, I did it, but let me tell you one thing:
I am just a simple person
I only want happiness and friends...
I didnt dream of becoming a queen, an actress or perhaps a singer

Until one day, I met John
The apple of eyes!
He was tall, dark and handsome!
And oh I was struck with his dimples
There were nights, I wasn't able to sleep..
Dreaming of my night in shining armor..

Then He courted me and i answered YES!
At the start we had fun together, we shared memories of togetherness

I love John so much..I sent him to College
And give him everything my money could offer
Expensive clothes, flashy car and sets of jewelries

It was his graduation day,
I hadn't seen him
So I went straight to the place where his graduation is going to be held..

JOHN CRUZ!...CUM LAUDE!
I heard it right! my heart jumps with joy
But, oh no! John on stage with other woman!

My blood rose up to my head!
So I grab the gun inside my bag...and...BANG!
There he was, DEAD!
With a lady shouting for his name, whom I learned his wife for months now

Honorable judges, friends, ladies and gentlemen
I did it for love sake.

bow!

I haven't save a hard copy of this but has kept a soft copy in my head..(weeehhh!d nga).My deepest gratitude to my English teacher Ms. Vicky Damole for writing this piece for me.And take note, I had also used this during our NSTP Culmination Day.Well, it was that the situation needed it..hahahaha.Every section has to present atleast 2 numbers during our culminating activity and my CI-207-C section only had one a comical skit,that's why I was force to recite this again.Though I was force, not exactly forced to do coz I volunteered I was still satisfied atleast we were able to present what was required and I was able to "WOW"  my classmates..hahahahahaha:)..( ganyan lang magbuhat ng sariling bangko...hehehehehe...kayo how will make buhat your own bagko...?)

SILVER YEAR

Where have you been for the last twenty five years?

A New beginning in a woman’s journey:

Another year was added to my age that means another milestone in this journey so called “LIFE”. Yes I grow a year older, but why did I have this question at the back of my mind: Did I really grow up?, well vividly not physically ( sad to say. wasn’t gifted in that aspect ),what I supposed to say is that: Am I really a matured individual now? Have I found the meaning of my life? Some of my friends and colleagues would say you are now ready to settle down. But how will I be ready, when I have no time for love? (hahahhahaha). It has been said: Life is not measure in years you have live your life, rather, in time you have your share it. But what does it really mean, sharing your life? Have I done this l already? These were only among the few queries I have.  As one of my favorite song says: “So many questions but the answers are so few”. To console myself:I would just simply say:" this is part of being human; some questions don’t find the answer in your expected way." The good thing about life that I enjoyed was that as we grow older, it’s breath taking to look back and recall what have you done in the past.

Looking back, when life is as simple as ABC.

I grew in poor family back in the small town of Alcoy. A particular place perhaps known only by its residents and nearby barangays and sitios.Bulalacao- a small sitio that is among those quiet and mountainous sitios that comprises Nug-as (proud to have black shamma in it’s wings).My father was a farmer, who sometimes had a sideline as baker in a certain mini grocery store in the main barangay.My father report there every Tuesday and Friday. When Papa is off to work at the bakery I used to plead him to bring us some bread when he comes back. At that time I am happy enough to have bread on our little table. However, life isn’t always a bed of roses, had always witness my papa and mama quarreling. As early as the age of four I had remembered it well, was: me and mama was on our way to the manghihilot, since asthma attack me again. They were quarreling again, I was about to go down on the stairs when Papa drag me…and so did Mama, I don’t actually care at that time, perhaps because I don’t understand what exactly is going on between them. But the most unforgettable one that hit me so badly was when one night they came home late and mama is shouting at papa…at first me and my little sisters just ignore them, Auntie Bebie is living with us at that time. Their quarrel became worst,  still we didn’t mind,until mama started throwing stones on our rooftop and we started screaming we hide under the tables afraid that the stones might hit us though there’s that roof. We really don’t have idea why they have that fight. I thought that was it, and then a few minutes later I was really shocked when I saw Mama, holding a bread knife pointing it to my father while holding my little brother, at that very moment I wasn’t thinking about them, my mind was up to the little kid. God grace grandma came but still they didn’t listen to the poor old one. After so many fighting, they separated  and that wasn’t easy for me, I was a freshman student at that time. Somehow, had already envision a complete family, their separation really affected me, personally and emotionally. There was even a time when my teacher caught me not really paying attention to her discussion though my eyes were glued on the board, good thing she understand me. But God is really good, and it is true time heals all wounds; my mama and papa are back to each others arms again. I was the one who was very happy with their reconciliation at that time. I was back with new enthusiasm at my studies again, however it doesn’t last a lifetime since finally on 2005 they finally broke up. Again it breaks my heart so badly, I cried for so many nights because of it but what else can I do. I wasn’t there.After I learned about their break up I immediately went home and wanted to talk to them, but when I was there, eagerness to talk to them was lost.What I did was only left letter for both of them , questioning  their decision. How selfish could they become?Didn't they consider us first before parting ways? What about little brothers and sisters? What will happen next?I was really disappointed with my parents, I told them in my letter that we did not ask them to bring us to life, it is their decision,.Before I went back to the city Mama tried to talk to me but I did not bother to listen all I want was, they forgive each other and start anew.After that I and Mama are not in good terms and sadly until now…(so bad of me,right?)we haven’t talked for almost six years now. Well personally I did not exert effort maybe. And that’s the sad part.As I was about to accept the situation of my parents and was ready to talk to Mama, it was then also that learned Mama had another  man  a third degree relative of my Papa. What an insult isn’t it? But there they are with a kid now whom I never seen, and once I hated but I had realized how hard it will be for my half sister when she grew up. I don’t know if when that time comes I will acknowledge her, I really couldn’t say. I realized I will be unfair if I will hate this little angel who didn’t have any idea about what was happening. And, finally I decided to accept the naked truth that: I have a half sister and my dreamed family wont be whole again, though at the bottom of my heart I am still hoping and praying that someday we will be back in each others arms again.

On a lighter note:” Make hay while the sun is shinning’

Though I grew up in a family so full of quarrels..nagging..etc…in other words a chaotic family life, I still managed to keep my faith in God, and that’s what keeps me going. Though I am not in a perfect family, I still managed to maintain high grades that gave me medal as part of the top honors during my elementary days. Those grades that brought me to scholarship at PMSC – a Japanese owned establishment in our locality. My deepest gratitude to my teacher in grade six .

 Yes, my parents were always in trouble but I could not forget how attentive my mother when it comes to my schooling needs. Indeed we are poor,”isang kahig isang tuka” but every time I will be send off to different schools for certain competitions which I never win my Mama would always find ways to look for money so that I can have some sort of baon. And that’s what I love Mama the most, her being industrious, being thoughtful. We may have gap now but I am hoping that at the end of the day, things will be patch up. Because of her; I have managed to build up a dream not only for myself but for all of us especially for my siblings.

On the other hand, what made our family special despite from all the fighting and trouble we have we still have high respect to our parents. We still grow up as a responsible person (as far as I’m concerned).We never answer them in a cold manner whenever they will scold us, we just listen and accept that we are wrong (though I must say sometimes I really wanted to shout…no Ma!.//hehehehhe).I remember so well whenever we go home late from school, we would bring home some firewood as reason why we were late, though in real we got so high with our games. During my early childhood years what I hate the most was during Saturdays, Sundays and summer vacation. Most will wonder why? Well it is simply because on Saturdays I am assigned in cleaning the house, arranging all the stuffs (as a kid this is hell for me.).On Sundays, we have to the laundry, fetch water – and gosh we had to fill that big drum, better if the deep well was only a few steps away, the bad thing is you have to go down at least two mountains then back. (Imagine what a torture it is?). On summer, we had to till the farm…and I hate the sun..so hot outside, and those ants grrr!.But all this stuff, mold me a person I am now. Thanks to my tyrant parents…. (just kidding..).

Searching for my luck:” Aim High and Hit the Mark”

After my elementary graduation ,I was of the few lucky one who passed the PMSC scholarship program, so then I was a scholar in my entire high school years. (My deepest gratitude to Maam Dierdre Romarate for helping us from the very beginning). Though I was a scholar then, after my second year in our barangay I decided to apply as working student, luckily I made it. I was employed as a working student at Mosqueda’s residence. Being a working student wasn’t a piece of cake. I am not born with a golden spoon in my mouth but still I am not that discipline in terms of household chores, simply because in our home though we had an assigned task, there was no pressure in it since it’s only your parents who will scold you whenever your task wasn’t finished, unlike when you’re working for someone else. But with strong determination I still made it, but sad to say I wasn’t able to maintain my spot in the honor roll.I was disgusted because it was the first time I wasn’t able to come to the stage to receive a medal but I was still given a special award. But that was it, I have to move on. After my second year I decided not to continue with my work, I left at Mosqueda’s residence. But after a week Nong Oroc’s brother Kuya Boy fetched me at our place and asked me to be their working student. Without hesitation I accepted it. My stay there was very okay; I again managed to have higher grades though not in top list (hahahahaaha).But then in general my high school life was somehow a stepping stone.

Few weeks after I graduated from high school I decided to apply for a job, well if you are living in the province after finishing high school most will go to the city and apply as either house maid or baby sitter, since what we have in mind is to help our family.

I was able then to land on a job as a housemaid through the help of my cousin. I worked at Lim’s residence in Banilad. But it was only for a while; it was August when my mother fetched me there because a certain colleague of her wants to help me pursue my studies in college. However that wasn’t materialized. I again searched for another job, lucky for me I got one again through the help of my best friend back in my elementary days. But then I realized, if I continue with this kind of job, though there’s nothing wrong with it, it feels like the grades I was maintaining during my high school days was wasted and effort of my teacher in grade for me to get a scholarship will be also be wasted. So I decided to find ways in order to pursue my studies in college.

I then went to my aunt’s house, search for my luck. At first it was not that easy, back then I work as babysitter, housemaid at my aunt’s house, after almost a year I was able to find a scholarship that really suits me. Again thanks to the friend I found there. Then I was really able to pursue my studies in college. I was a study now pay later scholar at Asian College of Technology. I took up Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. But that was only for a year…not so lucky of me.

I gave the hope that I can finish my studies; it was because it was real hard to be a full time self supporting student. It was that time when I learned that my parents finally decided to part ways. I was terribly bothered that days, my world seems to fall upside down.However during my stay in my aunts house I was able to build friendship that help me during my gloomy days.

Continued Struggle: “Knocked and you shall be opened”

After college I decided again to haunt for a job, but this time not as a housemaid or baby sitter anymore. It took me almost six months to finally land a job. I can’t remember how many candles I had offered to get the job. But God is really good; he didn’t break what he said:” Knock and you shall be opened”

I was hired as a service crew at HOS CORPORATION or better known as Hotdog on Sticks. It was Sept 6, 2006 when God answered my prayer. I started my training period at Robinsons Mall Cebu. It was really awkward since we have to bark or service calling, like you have to shout in order to push your product. It was still vivid in memory the first time I shouted hotdog on sticks, nathan’s hotdog, after shouting I hide at the ice tea dispenser in shame. But then I still managed though, until I was assigned in different outlets. I had my break when I was assigned to handle MAKRO outlet. But then again it wasn’t a piece of cake, I didn’t find it enjoying because it was only those trucks, vans and neighborhood tenants whom I see. And it’s kind awkward to push or offer your products to nobody. Until our boss caught me not barking just staring blankly (hahahaha), he was really mad at me during that time. He said if ever He will catch me again, he will terminate me. I just nod my head in agreement. The next day, I did not expect that my boss will visit my outlet again. There he caught me doing my nails. He didn’t scold me again instead He called up my supervisor and scolded him to death. I was really guilty; I know he doesn’t deserve to be scolded by our boss because of my stupidity.  But I was still lucky because my supervisor is not the strict he helped make my day though the fear was deep inside killing me softly( And I will never forget that ensaimada given by my supervisor as pacifier..hehee). Questions are overflowing in my mind: What if I will be terminated? What will happen? But again, I made it.I wasn’t terminated; I was only reassigned to another outlet.

I was transferred to Gaisano South, and there I was able to uplift my status. Our boss trusted me again since I was somehow able to maintain the sales. It was there that I started to develop my personality. After almost six months in Gaisano South I was then transferred to Gaisano Countrymall.I was assigned there for year before I was again transferred to Ayala and was developed to become a cluster in charge. On my training as cluster in charge, I find it so difficult to handle personnel especially if they’re ahead of you. Not that easy to implements rules, not to mention if these guys were your friends, your barkadas.Until I gave up, physically and emotionally. I said to myself: this kind of job is not for me. I wasn’t able to quit until I got sick and was hospitalized. After my hospitalization I decided to resign since my family ad relatives contradict my yearning to continue working, I submitted a resignation then, but after a few days our HR manager called me up I was asked to report to office.

Blessing in disguise: “Opportunity knocks only once, so grab it”

As our HR manager’s request I then reported at the office. I wasn’t expecting anything but one thing was fixed in my mind, my resignation is final. It is because one of our company’s practices was that once you have reached one year as a service crew you whether you like or like not you will be trained as cluster in charge (which now I realized it’s good for us, because we grow.) and I know I don’t have the capabilities to become one aside from the fact that my health condition is not stable at that time. I was surprised then when our HR told me that our boss asked if I want an office job, well it was something that sounds good to hear. So then without a second thought, I accepted the offer, which I think is really a blessing for me. I was not able to finish my course but there I was offered for an office job, who am I to reject it?

There I was trained as a DSR analyst or what we called as Sales Analyst. I t was boring at first because I used to in an area where I can communicate with a lot of people in different walks of life. As time goes by, I was to get used to it. But the again I had to face the consequences in relation to my job. One of them was my time with my friends in work, more so often I couldn’t hang out with them.

After a year or so in Accounting I was then trained in treasury works, not to mention the fact that I really love to learned new things. Until then I was made a reliever to our treasurer.

Be courageous enough to face each trial that hinders your way. Be truthful.

Being trusted by someone was a real burden especially when we talked about money. It was this time when I was to relieve our treasury for her day off. As a standard operating procedure before you have to make a day off you have to make sure that you have turn over properly all those accountability but we did not follow that simply because we trust each other. But unfortunately, something happened, that lead me to become instant assigned treasurer. I was left without choice than to accept the post. I was afraid for the possible outcome, the consequences and everything, but then with the help of prayer and encouragement from my co workers who still believe in me I managed to make it through.

I thought that was the last incident, but I was wrong, it happen again. I can’t describe the anger I saw in my boss glaring eyes. I know that at the back of his mind were doubts. It was so humiliating on my part, because every time I report to work I have this feeling that they’re backstabbing me. The only thing that consoles me during that time was the fact that I am sure and honest to myself. I couldn’t do anything to put my name in shame, because it is my only treasure. Luckily after some time, I have proved myself to our boss and to my colleagues that what they think was wrong. Thanks to God for helping me. The lesson I learned from that experience was not to loose hope when you have the truth in your hand, just speak for the truth and put it in God’s hand. After my darkest hour being the treasury God has given some light. Despite of all the doubts I had read in my co workers eyes, all their whispers we’re cleared. The truth itself finds its way out to cleanse my name and other personalities involved. With that, I feel like God never lets you down when you’re on the right side. The best thing about it: just do the right thing, and God will take care for the rest. And because of that I am still here, come to think of it, never had I imagined that I would this long – 5years on counting. Nothing is impossible if you keep your faith strong. At that time though I cried for so many nights and even in my sleep, praying and talking to God was my only refugee. Then, my prayers work, which make me believe that God won’t give trials that you can’t handle.

After those troubles I encountered at work, I thought I can now breathe freely, until one day I just woke up with new burden I had to carry. My sister has to be hospitalized due to gallstone. I counted for months until she was finally scheduled for operation, and I can’t explain what I felt at that time, anxious, nervous.But at the end of the day, the operation went through and positively. The only sad part of it was that Mama didn’t even care to visit my sister. The idea stricken me so badly yet a part of me tried to understand her. But that was it, now I am only grateful that we had surpassed that trial.

And as I continue my journey, somehow I found my mission on Earth. Yet  can’t deny the fact that there were instances of my life when I asked God why do I have to go through this and that, but after all I defeated those obstacles, I had thanked God for giving me those. I thanked God because I will never be who I am today if not because of those difficulties.

Just Created Another Blog

Been longing to write another blog then, unfortunately cant remember my user name, tsk..!tsk.tsk@Alzchimer's attack at the age of 25!

Words aren't coming tonight,hmmp!just created the tittle,  but can't supply supporting details how's that?So what am I going to do now?Wrote just nonsense,or how about copy notes from my fb account?Copy notes from FB account-sounds good enough at least I can have something to post?Is that it? Will I deliver justice to this action?
Huh! no matter what, as long as I'm into blogging again wehhh? And  I just created another blog...hahahaha..kumusta naman yun?