Quarter / Mid Life Crisis or Just some Over thinking?

image ctto: gooogle

Someone’s going back to being a teenager again…”identity crisis”, personality issues and all, well it’s another #somanyquestionsbuttheanswersaresofew ( longest hashtag?) moment of mine. There some points in my life, when my head has a lot of questions, #soulsearching.

 Why is it that every time we travel ( I mean….I )  down the memory lane, it always seemed like it was only yesterday? Oh well perhaps this only applies to me. Backward to the time when I was young, maybe at grade school and early teens, I always look forward to the future, that for me was like ten years ahead. I always had a great vision of how my life would be and in my mind I am memorizing the chronological order of events, I had everything planned in my mind, always have this short and long term goal, oh that was what I learn from school back then.

Perhaps it was the absence of technology back then that my idle mind always drifts to somewhere I haven’t been to. That was then a great escape from the reality of life back there in the countryside, as I look at it at this very moment, it was a great coping mechanism of all the detours, bumps and humps that life has thrown at me an early age.

However I really miss those moments now…I don’t know where did this “wisdom comes with age “goes. I just turned 29, but it is really embarrassing to realize that I have lost that sense of direction, lost the capability to dream of a beautiful tomorrow. Am I tired of dreaming and imagining how my tomorrow would be? If that’s the case, do I have to feel sorry for myself? If there is such a thing as puberty crisis, so what could this be quarter life crisis? Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! The jerk in me eh…

Or maybe it could also be that I am just trying to live for a moment, being in the moment without worrying what tomorrow would brings. Yes I did grow tired worrying of things that may or may not happen in the future. And that is why; I am only in for the moment. But yes, I do still think of my tomorrow however, I work hard on a daily basis, whether it will pays off tomorrow or not, at least there’s no way I would be blaming myself for having busy thinking of those uncertain things  that I forget to enjoy what today has for me.

Perhaps there are really these moments in man’s life where all we can find in mind and heart are questions. Questions that when we find the answer, we will ask another question again yet we are not satisfied with the answer or maybe even if we have the answer we just deny it.

Well this is life and it is too short to worry about things that we aren't sure if it will really happen in the future. Just work your ass off today but don’t forget to enjoy things.  A midst your busy timetable you can always pause for a moment and look for something that would paint a smile in your lips. At times it can’t be that easy because the world has its ways to give us a thousand reasons to frown but it does not mean that we cannot find a single reason to smile.

So I am taking this easy now…I always have this feeling in my heart that someday soon it will be over and whatever inhibition it is I have in mind, I will soon forget about it.

29 Amazing Years

Thanks to Him above for giving me another amazing year of my life. The was a bit rough at some point, but hey! I made it, wearing still the same smile.Instead of looking back at how I was in the years that has passed, this time…I like to look forward….I don’t want to grow old but at the same time, I am quite excited to be on to be on the line of 3’s. chos!  I just thought, that there’s so much in life to look forward to!

Anyway, to my parents, we may have different views in life, but I will always be forever grateful to the both of you, I couldn’t be where I am right now, and this old if not because of you. And I still believe deep in my heart, that one day soon we’ll get that chance to be happy together. I am so looking forward to that day and I won’t grow tired of hoping.

To my dearest siblings…sorry guys Ate will always be “maldita”, I don’t think I will mellow down either but just so you know I am just thinking for the best of you. I am always quite and snub but you know very well, that you can always count me in need (although “makatilaw sad jud mo ug yawyaw here and there)

To all the amazing people I’ve met, became friends with, laugh and cry with, thank you so much! My journey won’t be the same without guys! Special thanks to those who remember my special day…he-he! It means a lot to me!

Without further ado….happy birthday to me! 29 amazing years!!! OMG!!!

Thanks to you

 Dear Tribu Subakanon,

Today is such a special day for you and I can only thank you for having been a part of my online world. My life would never be as colorful as it was if I haven’t met you.  And since it is your special day, allow me to express my deepest gratitude for the things that you have given me

I want to thank you for:

1.   The gift of friendship

I was once a lonely kid working late nights in a four cornered room until you come along. I can still recall how many nights we have spent together, sharing even some non sense topics and jokes as well. Nothing compares to that special friendship that binds us even if some of us are living in different time zone.

2.   Being an instrument of help to those who are in need

I am just an ordinary individual living in my own means, but I do have a  heart to those in need, yet I am not confident enough to extend every little thing I can do to  help but with you I am able to do my share. You have collected us to help as one.

3.   The memories we all have shared that I will forever cherish in my heart.

These are but just few of the many things I have been with you that I am thankful of. You are maybe silent these days but I know one day soon, you will soar up high because of the friendship that you have created among us that go beyond online.

Happy anniversary to you…and happy friendship day to all the tribuletz! I am looking forward to that day when we will be together once again.       

Thankfully yours,

Mokz jm a.k.a “ Lukring”

Losing My Sense of Direction

disclaimer: photo not mine..just grabbed it from somewhere. ^_^

It was an ordinary working day in the office, and since it was a lunch break chickahan galore kami with one of my officemates. Wala lang..kanit anu-ano na ang naging topic naming, well mostly ganun lang talaga kami kadaldal kahit anong bagay napapag-usapan, mula lovelife hanggang gamut sa dandruff.

Light lang ang chikahan naming nun when out of the blue my officemate asked me “ what’s your goal in life?”  Napakasimpleng tanong na cguro kahit kinder eh masagot agad. But it was different with me…parang bigla akong nabulunan and I fell into deep thinking.

My officemate asked me again…and I just said in jest.. iisipin ko pa, sabay tawa ng malamya. Then she said, ganun din pala cya hindi na nya alam kung ano nga ba ang goal nya. Sa isip ko, buti na lng I am not alone.But seriously, I can’t explain myself and what I really want in life. Parang ang dami ko gusting gawin, meron nga na nasimulan ko na, pero ni hindi ko rin matapos-tapos.

Back on my early teens, I had my life planned already..what will I do pagka-graduate ng high school and so on and so forth. But lately, parang I am living each day as it is bahala na si Batman bukas. Which I am not sure, if this is just normal  thing. Minsan, iniisip ko na lng na baka ganito nga lang pagtumatanda ka na. lol!

 Ganito nga ba or I am just losing my sense of direction? Or am I just living one moment at a time? Whatever it is, somehow I am thankful and kind a proud of myself because I am able to surpassed all the detours and humps that has come along my way.

Siguro minsan as our personality evolved we would think na we are losing track, yun pala we just find another way to deal with things. But really when you feel like you are at lost, just take some quiet time of your own, and you'll have the answer.

(Naks namen! Im growing old na jud..ha-ha! )

Scattered thoughts on my " POST ITS"

It's a Sunday afternoon at wala masyadong ganap sa work, medyo nabagot din ng konti, kaya napag tripan ko ang "post it" sa PC. Ang saya naman pala nyang gamitin. ha-ha! Ang babaw lang...Well anyways, somehow I was able to tickle the poetic side of my brain and I made all these ^_^

pwede kaya?

trying to create a fan fiction out of this...but my brain cells aren't working well yet.. :(

Okay I admit I am a DanRis fan. And this one, was the song that Maris and Daniel  composed in the pool @ PBB house, but they're not able to finish it and so I am trying to finish it ^_^

Random thoughts

those were the days...indeed falling in love and be love is the greatest feeling,
 sadly not all will have a chance to happy ending

A short Escape

 I was born on this place but since I grown up, I have less time in getting back there because of work and other priorities. But I forget all of those, one Thursday of June 26, 2014. I and my cousins decided to hop on the bus and bring to life the long planned visit to our home town. As they say: we can always earn money but not memories.

getting to my birthplace is more or less a three- hour rides from tricyle to jeepney and then by bus. and finally arriving at Poblacion ( town center ) of Alcoy, need to hop into what we called as "habal-habal" for more or less 40 to 45 mins rides in a steep, long and winding road. For 1st timers and those who aren't used to it, maybe it's a little scary but it's all worth when you get to breathe the fresh cold air, which signals that you are almost there!                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

We were only there for a day vacation, thus we make use of the time to enjoy everything about the countryside. When our things were settled we decided to climb up to our grandparents old place                                                  

the tiring but all worth it climb to the top. really hard when you're a bit chubby! Whoah!

I am mad at buko! and it's always refresh to have one after a steep climb! Well, not just one but til my tummy said I was full already! Big thanks to our dear Lolo and Lola for planting coconuts trees long time ago, now we have something to go back home and many more!

from Buko  picnic madness to the little farm. miss being in the farm, so I indulged myself a little bit. Back in my younger days, I always dreaded summer because it would mean that most of my time will be in the farm along with my younger siblings to pull out weeds even under the sun. But since I always complained about ants and heat of the sun, Papa would left me home to prepare food and other household chores. it's a great escape too. he-he!

        

We've done so much in a day...as we say "sulit na sulit". It's tiring but truly fun and always worth reminiscing for. When the night came..we were then busy refreshing ourselves and getting ready to a barrio disco, too bad it rained when the night was young, thus there's only few who went for disco but of course me and my cousins were present...forgetting about the rain!!

The next morning...we headed back to town and stop by at Alcoy's famous white sand beach, Tingko!!!! It's never too late for a summer in June specially that the sun is up! Happiness that is!!!

@ Tingko- the famous white sand beach in Alcoy. There's still so much to do...but with the limited time we need to hurry up but we'll be back there someday soon. As of now there are more resorts that I need to explore around Tingko...!

So, that was my short escape to my hometown! It was quick but real great! Great time to relieve the childhood memories, reminiscing with childhood peers, crushes etc...And thanks to my dearest cousins for making this quick escape memorable and fun. Until next time....see yeahhhhhhhh!