It has been around six years or almost since my parents choose to continue their journey not in each others arms. For that period of time, I thought I had accepted it already with all my heart--- that's it! As a matter of fact - bitter truth, I stop praying and asking God about their reconciliation, it's not because I feel hopeless about it and I want to quit the fight. It is simply because I feel within that it's time to let go most especially when Mama found someone.It hurts so much but then who am I to stop her,yes I am her daughter but it does not give me the authority to oppress her happiness, that would be so selfish of me and unfair to Mama .With that realization I thought I had fully accepted our situation and I can do nothing about it anymore. I was then able to pick up the broken pieces of me and had started my life again, but still I haven't got the courage to approach Mama.Whether it is of pride or fear that I feel, I can't fully explain. Until I got the chance to visit my hometown again. With my vacation I thought God gave me that time to somehow break the ice between me and Mama, I was thinking I can face her, after all she is my mother and I wouldn't be here if not because of her.In my heart I am hoping that it will be okay.
At one point in our life we thought we had moved on and accepted that it is all over but then there that little space deep in our hearts where doubts, pride, fear dwell that constrain us from doing what must have to be done by the time we are given the chance to face it.But still I strongly believe that soon my prayers will be answered, and everything happens for a reason.
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