Back Home

As we find our way towards that space we've been dreaming of, our feet would bring us to a lot of picturesque places, however, there's always this one place we'd always long for no matter how far we've traveled...and that is Home.

It  just occurred to me that my twenties were spent working to meet ends that I somehow neglect going home to where all my dreams began, part of it was also because I was avoiding it for a time. The placed where I had my navel buried in, not until recently when I got the luxury to go home almost every other weekend.

Going back home to your roots, also serves as a great reminder as to why you are working so hard. Of course it's not always a joyous feeling, most of the time I actually get nostalgic, a lot has changed but those were good change. Back in the day, kerosene lamps lights most of the house. I went back to where our old house was...some are of the plants I grew up with are still there, but it's more like of a pocket forest now. Everything has changed, what remains are memories....

How simple life back then...just as how small things brings smile into face during those pink lollipop days. Below are some of the  things I would always miss and would always come back for.

1. Greens

- living in the city and being surrounded by high rise buildings, not to forget the city noise, looking at the scenic view and the greenery calms my heart & mind.

a view from my brother's little farm, where I used to wonder what could be behind those mountains, little did I know I'll be able to explore the other side of that mountain

this was where our house stand before , now... a mini pocket forest, used to be my playground and the very place I started dreaming.

 2. Fresh Air - Fog

- nothing beats the smell of a fresh air. felt like it cleanses my lungs, plus the " fog". Got me feeling being in another dimension ( now that's exaggeration over there! ).

morning view, specially during the months of November & December, our very own little Baguio

you'd be one lucky fellow if you're able to capture that elusive sunrise on a foggy morning

3. Old and familiar faces

- when you are living in the countryside...everybody else in the neighborhood is a relative. Of course you always get a smile from random people whom would always ask " Anak ka ni kuan day?" ( Are you the daughter of...?)

taken during a fiesta celebration, "the-never-gets-old King & Queen"

4. Freshly picked veggies

- utan bisaya tastes even more delicious when you got it in the countryside, which I admit I hated when I was young, maybe because it's a common side dish that is present on the table almost every meal along with broiled dried fish. 

5. having a feast on fruits where you ain't got to spend a dime

-most of the time, you can get to eat every fruit you would like in the city as long as you can afford to buy but in the countryside..you can get it and you can get as much as you want. If ain't yours, you can always asked for free.

so this is what they call as passion fruit, but to that little me back in the day this was orange juice or valencia

wild strawberry, locally called "tungaw-tungaw"

locally known as "tambis" best eaten when paired with salt

root cause of all the troubles I got while I was in grade school

These are just few of the things that kept me wanting going back home these. Above all that sense of belonging you wouldn't find anywhere else I should say specially at times where you feel at lost. 

A Year Behind the Phone

Every time I look back to the days that had gone by, I am reminded at how fast time passes by. When  I think about it, everything feels like it was just yesterday.  Guess this has been the most overused and abused line in my blog.

Yung tipong parang kailan lang, I was so scared to try being a cc agent for a voice account after my stint as a chat support. Part of it was because of my insecurities at how I articulate and pronounce certain words, well it has also been engraved in my mind those common feedback I got after a number of interviews I've been, such as how I mispronounce p & f, b &v and a whole lot more. For a time I was thinking, this line of job must just remain in my dream. But hey! it's  magic I've been in the industry for a year now. It was some time on this month a year ago, when I cried after my mock call, it is still fresh in my memory.

If there's one thing, I realized after a year behind the phone : " Men ain't no joke being a call center agent or BPO worker". But of course, there's no easy job on planet earth, but so far this got me like: "ing-ani diay mag call center agent?"

The pressure is real, I am not sure if it's only me, or maybe some other neophyte have gone through the same as well. I mean when you got a score card to maintain, yung feeling na my gaddd I am not in school anymore but I still have to keep up my grades. Well, in each field that I had been performance has always been based on numbers, but I had always felt so much pressure when I get into this business. Thankfully though, I know how to balance it nowadays, syempre when you get to stay a little longer, somehow, knew some tricks , ika nga "ninja moves" ( disclaimer: not the bad ninja moves. ha-ha! #defensive). More than that, I somehow  find a way to embrace the job, that it feels less of a work now, not all the times though, I must admit, coz ang hypocrite naman if I say all the time. Medyo I find a way to chill nowadays.

How I manage to survive a year in this line of job, here are some things that's keeping me sane

1. Compensation & Benefits
  - yep! mukha talaga akong pera. hahaha! Bakit ba? Who doesn't need money? Hello, mahal kaha kaau ang palitonon karon. So I don't have the right nga mag inarte or mag ino-a. And let's face it
  ( borrowed line from one of my TL ), for someone like me who wasn't able to finish a college degree, this is the field so far where I can get more than enough. Better compensation compared to , while I was working in another line of work.

2. The Team / Group / Barkada ( however you call it ) " the team building"
- Truth! so far I have been lucky to be in a team, which somehow  I could enjoy a day's work. So yes, medyo nakakagaan din yung mga ka teammates mong, minsan may kalog, may OOTD queen, may birit queen and so on. Syempre in any field you would be in , if di mo bet mga ka trabaho mo, waley..... Nakaka excite yung team building na kung minsan nagiging drawing, coz you ain't got funds yet

3. The two days off
- Yung ka-ka day off mo pa lang but you are thinking again of your next day off. It's only these days that I get to appreciate day offs and somehow manage to get the most of it.  I used to take if for granted coz I am too focused of earning more, a day off work is a few bucks wasted, which was very wrong mentality. However, I must also say sometimes where you are so sanay na sa two-day straight off, all of a sudden biglang split RD,...that's ewan

4. Laag - Lakwatsa / travel goals
 -Well.., well...if you got good compensation, travel goals ain't that a far fetch. Konting tipid lang sa sweldo, para maka ipon...you surely can get to go to your dream destination. Well I don't have that luxury yet..but somehow I was able to get to places I once just saw on post card ( very old school, lelz), or have seen in travel documentary or variety shows online or on TV.

5. Eat Outs/ Food adventures
- of course when you a little extra in your wallet you get to indulge and gave in to your cravings without feeling guilty or be worried baka bukas makalawa nga-nga! Eat outs with team mates are one of the memories I always cherish, but of course nothing beats that happiness being able to share the blessings you've received with your family. Kahit once in a blue moon you are able to treat your family, your parents specially.

There are countless things that still keep me going each day despite the struggle of waking up on wee hours to report to work, plus some hard to please customers na kahit binigay mo na lahat kulang pa rin, yung in the end DSAT pa rin c ma'am at sir! Again, once you find a way to embrace your job, somehow you will find your purpose..which eventually will make you love what you are doing.

Tbh, i may have find a way to embrace it but of course at the back of my mind & heart I am still looking for something I'd really settle in one day. One thing is for sure, this is a stepping stone to where I should be.

Random FB Questions ( Did you know.....?)

1. What’s the meaning of your name?

- My name means God is Gracious, Beautiful as per google

 2. If I could live a day of my life in the past, I’d choose

- the day I turned 18. I’d spent it with my family coz that was the last time we were as a whole.

3. If I see someone in the street but I don’t want to say hi….

- I’d look away and pretend to be busy with my phone

4. Between sunrises and sunsets, I prefer

- sunsets

5. My first job….

- a housemaid at the age of 15 while completing high school.

6. A New Year’s Resolution I haven’t been able to accomplish yet is…

 - to loose weight

7. My favorite moment of the day is…

- when I get off from work

8.   I could spend hours and hours ….

-watching Kdrama and Kvariety

9. I learned to ride a bike when…

- I was 15

10. When I was little, I used to think

- the moon is following me wherever I go

Big Five

Getting and Feeling Like Real OG

Hasn’t only been yesterday that I was celebrating my 30^th birthday?

Seriously, am I the only on their early thirties whose actually feeling like this? If I look back and reflect at some points in my life during my teenage and twenties I feel really blessed and so grateful that I reached this milestone. These days, somehow I am really able to enjoy and live my life, not that I wasn’t able back then. It just feels so difference these past years,

Anyways, the writer in me is up tonight...it has been too long since I wrote a blog, though I have been meaning to and there so much that I want to write, it’s just ideas are all scattered in my head and can’t figure out yet how to translate them in writing. So just, last month, I turned 32, as in THIRTY – TWO! Didn’t really had a special celebration coz I saving for something else that time, but thanks to my best who treated me to a birthday dinner at Shakeys, and my bad I did not even bother to take a picture of us.

And I just thought of writing Big Five of the things I am grateful of now that I am thirty-two!

1. Gift of friendship

 I remember a time, I was still on my twenties when I was thinking, that I really didn’t have best of friends or even that close tight circle of friends. My grade, high school and a few of my college we’re so busy making a life everywhere, sure I got some hundred of friends in social but that’s a different case. However, now that I am on my thirties, I am able to see and know who friends really are. We do not see each other that much, but that sense of security, that feeling of belongings, if that’s the correct term.

2. Blessed to have met great mentors in life

If I got to enumerate my grade school teachers up until my instructor in college, I could definitely do. I must say and proclaim that I was blessed to have met such an amazing mentors from school and even at work and I should give credits to them for what I have become today and I will always have high respect for them, wish one day I’d be able to do something in return to them or at least even pay it forward. #fingerscrossed

3. Work

At some point, I had complained that I had just been working all my life that I got exhausted and de - motivated to work but these days I find it a blessing now. Because of all the work I’ve done in the past, I am able to get where I am right now plus I am now able to really enjoy life, which reminds of the words by one of my managers before “ No amount of hardwork will ever be wasted”

4. Sense of Direction

On my younger years like teens and twenties I used to plan a lot, without realizing that I have been planning my life so much that I sometimes forget to enjoy and be in the moment. I pressured myself to really do well otherwise I would fail. At is point in time, I no longer have a plan but rather a vision I know where I am heading to and what I really want in life. I feeling like I am making peace with myself now. I was able to come up with these terms when I started to care less of other people opinion.

5. Family

I ain’t have that picture perfect parent or even sibling relationship but they’re definitely the reason why I am where I am right now.

 Something’s missing?, ohhh well as they say “ You can never really have it all” but I do have a feeling that it will come at the right time, in His time!

 Lastly, yes I’m thirty-two but nahhhh! I feeling twenty-two!

Dear 2017

Dear 2017,

What a wonderful year you are! You have reminded that there's nothing I can do as long as I believe in me and as long as I have faith in Him. You have reminded that I have been through worst before, this is just a piece of cake.

I was a limbo, way back in January but you hit me hard that I had a courage to step out of what has been my comfort zone for the past three years. I took the challenge once again and braved out into the field of opportunities.

And I found my way to what has been an immersion at PMFTC by February where I met some amazing people, whom some I become friends with. In way I was given a chance to taste what it was like again to be in a corporate world, somehow, it was the kind of environment that I kind a miss.

But of course, after a short immersion followed a time to make a good decision since my time with EACS was about to end.

So,March has come...EACS chapter is officially closed and I was floating once again, not really sure which path I should take. 

I wander for a few weeks until you help me find the courage to finally explore into the BPO industry, not to mention that it was actually my dream to be part of it. However, I did not have much courage before, mainly because I lack the confidence in me due to my educational background and of course my verbal English proficiency. I had been to a few interviews back in time and it was usually what barred me from getting in.

But of course that didn't stop me, I watched youtube videos on how to nail a call center interview, practice each day until I was finally able to find the courage to send an application.

Hard work did not fail me , I made my way tomy first BPO company by the end of April, and booom! there start my call center journey.

Unfortunately it was a short- lived romance with them, came June 30 I bade goodbye. 

July has come but this time I wasn't feeling like being in limbo again. I have gain so much courage with my two-month stay at my first BPO company.

There comes August, I made my way to another BPO company but then it was yet another short-lived because of some unavoidable circumstances.

September made its way, while I was still studying, trying to improve my verbal English through youtube tutorials.

October came along with a new opportunity that was so surreal!I had been asking if that was real because never ever did I bother to just imagine of sending an application to this company because of much talked high standards that they have. I once had an interview with them during a job caravan in Ayala which of course I was turned down because of my lack of cc experience and educational background.

Luckily, I found my place there and  still lucky to have been staying there until this day. One thing that amazed myself , is the fact that I am able to handle a voice account. For some it maybe an easy or perhaps the simplest account but for it is a great achievement specially when you hear from interviewers a lot of time that I have so many lapses in my pronunciation, which I still have up until now.

Thank you 2017 for the amazing year:

- the year when I muster my courage once again

- the year when I met another amazing people whom some became my dear friends

- the year when I met amazing mentors who has helped me a lot in so many way both personal and professional 

with my Team52

with my BB girls

With my team laagan

love,

Mokz JM

From Thrash to Throw

I've been hiatus in the work field for quite sometime now, so to keep myself busy I make "butingting" of what's around me.

Among these things were plastic wrappers of candies, chips, coffee sachets and many others. The inspiration actually came from my grade school project, one of our grade 6 project which was the throw pillow.

A little story about it, back then I and few of my classmates would pick plastic thrash everywhere. I don't have to pick thrash myself nowadays coz aside from our own household plastic thrash I also have a kind neighbor "Ate Neneng" who segregate her plastic thrash for me.

As of this writing, I already finished three mini thrash pillows. This keep me busy along with another project in the works while waiting for my NSO to get back in the work field soon.

Plastic donation from my kind neighbor Ate Neneng

The not so fun stage, would make your hands specially on your base thumb, wish I have a plastic shredder - stage 2

You can either sew lace cloth on edges or wrap it with a pillow case - stage 3

Finished product mini throw pillow

This is how I keep myself busy these days, but I am dying to get back to work now, special shutout NSO head office, wish you could approve my request ASAP! Huhu!

The Door I Refused to Open

These past three months have been a roller coaster ride for me. It took me to places I just imagined back in the day at the same time I was reminded that indeed the only permanent thing in this world is  CHANGE.

I believe I am one of those people, who has difficulty in leaving the comfort zone. Yes I can adapt quickly, but as much as possible I would rather stay where I am in at the moment than to venture out in the unknown, which is one of the reasons as well that at my age I haven't been to different companies. In other words, if you have my loyalty, trust that you will have it perhaps lifelong unless there's something that would broke my trust.

However, these past three months, it was a different story. It was a bit sad, but I was left with nothing but to embrace and accept that it happened and shits do happen.

Just when I finally feel at home, and slowly making my way through the crowd (chos!) A bomb was dropped! At first I wasn't that affected since, somehow I got a fallback, I won't be totally jobless. So I was just kind of chill, but after having experienced a legit salary ( without having to work extra on weekends or do overtimes to just earn enough), I thought nope! this fallback won't work for me now - human greed!

This lead me to a decision to apply in another BPO company, I believe I've applied for almost half the numbers as my fingers or even more. I can still clearly recall what most of the interviewees would say after my interview as well as the tone of their voice and the look on their face. I remember one said, " You still have so many lapses with your pronunciation". Others may say:  " I apologize, however, I cannot process further your application" or " I am sorry but the account that has an opening right now requires our candidate to have at least finished 2 years in college without back subjects". Of course that didn't stopped me at first. I have this motto since I was in grade school to try and try until you succeed, after all there's no harm in trying.

Until, I grew tired taking rejections after rejections, where partly I was at fault too because I did not come on interviews prepared. I realize this misfortune has to stop, while I was taking in rejections after rejections I already had a pending application at another BPO company as well that requires me to attend another reassessment before I would be formally enrolled in their training program. I finally decided to concentrate on that one first and I thought, okay I will decide from there.

Thankfully, I was able to made it to the cut and now one of the trainees! I still have a long way to go, and to be honest I am quite scared, this was the door at first I refused to open because I don't have the confidence however, those rejections I received motivated me to do well and give my all in this. The most important thing, I need a job to live the life that I wanted to have! So tiis-ganda besh!